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CNET announces that the newest version of Windows will not launch with critical fanfare or technical chops but with a circus… on the side of a building. From the Ina Fried piece:

Microsoft will kick off its Windows Vista launch activities with a human billboard in downtown New York.

The Cirque du Soleil-style performance will take place at 9 a.m. Monday at the Terminal Building.
“It’s a billboard. It’s marketing, except that it’s made by people,” Mike Sievert, corporate VP for Windows told CNET News.com late Wednesday.

[*Soylent Green Charlton Heston] Windows Vista…. It’s PEOPLE!

While we’re on the topic of Microsoft its worth mentioning that Bill Gates will be appearing on Monday’s Daily Show with John Stewart. While Stewart can make a politician squirm when pressed I’m betting that most questions for the outgoing leader will be softballs.

Hat tip: Seattle PI.

Astroturfing isn’t just the stuff of grass replacement anymore; it’s also the term for any PR campaign that tries to appear as an honest, grassroots, spontaneous product of the people. People don’t like to be deceived and when cases of Astroturfing have been discovered the result has usually been a backlash of negative publicity. Wikipedia, because of its prominence as an online authority and its ability to be edited by anyone, makes it a prime target for such manipulation.

It has now come to light that Microsoft attempted to pay individuals to change Wikipedia articles for its behalf. From the Seattle PI piece by Brian Bergstein:

Microsoft Corp. landed in the Wikipedia doghouse Tuesday after it offered to pay a blogger to change technical articles on the community-produced Web encyclopedia site.

While Wikipedia is known as the encyclopedia that anyone can tweak, founder Jimmy Wales and his cadre of volunteer editors, writers and moderators have blocked public-relations firms, campaign workers and anyone else perceived as having a conflict of interest from posting fluff or slanting entries. So paying for Wikipedia copy is considered a definite no-no.

“We were very disappointed to hear that Microsoft was taking that approach,” Wales said.

This comes after Microsoft enraged the temperamental blogsphere a month ago by attempting to buy mentions of its Vista software from a select cadre of tech trendsetters. Before that Microsoft conducted astroturfing campaigns under the guises of the ‘Americans for Technology Leadership’ and the ‘Freedom to Innovate Network’.

Microsoft has stated that its only trying to correct errors. But considering its history of attempted bribery and past relation missteps its no wonder that even honest efforts end up in a bad light.

According to Caroline McCarthy’s article AOL is getting into Second Life. With little fanfare and less reason, the universally despised provider of free coasters (see use #12) has decided that it didn’t want to be the only adolescent web company not to jump the shark.

From the CNet piece:

The company expects AOL Pointe to have three main areas: an amphitheater, an extreme-sports park and something called Hollywood Pop-Land. Some of AOL’s more popular brands, such as TMZ Productions and Lat34.com, will be highlighted in the virtual space.

If by “popular” they mean “familiar to my mom’s friends” and “highlighted” they mean “plastered on objects that don’t really exist” how can they fail??!!

Confused over the Cingular name change? Trying to figure out who you’ll be locked up with for your new iPhone? Stephen Colbert explains all in this video clip:

On Rapid Fire the retired circus monkeys and I take a shot at all the news from the past week that we just didn’t get to. So, without further ado, let’s take aim and fire at will:

• Two weeks ago we mentioned that Cisco was suing Apple over iPhone trademark violations. Gizmodo now has word that Cisco created their version of the iPhone from GPL licensed without correctly following those rules. Lawyers everywhere are nursing blistered hands from all the hi-fiving they’ve been doing.
• Tech commentators and talking heads alike declare Sony’s Blu-Ray next gen video media dead. The reason? Sony has mandated that pr0n is too red light for the blue light technology. The best title from all coverage goes to Gizmodo and their post “Blu-ray Porn Update: Not Getting It On“
• Slamdance’s Guerrilla Games Competition is all but dead. The organizers pulled Super Columbine Massacre RPG! from competing which caused an avalanche of withdrawals from sponsors and competitors alike. Game boys shrug and go back to playing with their Wiis.
• Novell urges people to skip Vista and use Linux. In a similar announcement Royal Crown tells users to skip Coke and drink RC.
• Motorola announces 3,500 jobs will be cut.
• Bill Gates says Sony “didn’t know what they were doing” when it came to the PS3. Given that I can still find piles of the $599 “supercomputers” and not a Wii in sight I’d say he’s right.
• We’ve clearly stated the reason that the Microsoft Zune comes in brown (for the Cliff Notes devotees, it’s because its crap). Despite its many foibles a largely touted feature was that users would be able to ’squirt’ songs to other users. It turns out that only works slightly better than half the time. From the great Om:
  

  There are now reports that nearly 40% of the songs purchased or acquired through the ZunePass cannot be shared.

  Most of the songs that that fall in the cannot be shared category are from a company that thinks all its customers are thieves - Universal Music Group. UMG had cut a special deal with Microsoft, and is getting at least a $1 a Zune. (Insert: marry to the mob joke here!) Sony Music is the other label with some sharing restrictions.

  Welcome to the social, indeed. With all the restrictions its like being back in high school.

One knows they are in the midst of a full on hype backlash when the parody sites start springing up. Second Life, which has enjoyed an incredible crescendo of frequent, but vapid, press is just the latest target of sensibility’s ire. Darren Barefoot, a Vancouver web geek, brings us the “Get A First Life” website. Best lines? “Go Outside - Membership is Free” and “Fornicate Using Your Actual Genitals”.

Hat Tip: Boing Boing

Ah, today is Friday and not only is it the end of the week; it is the end of the 2007 CES/MacWorld media saturation. To help commemorate the latest clean up of orgasmic marketing we at MilitantGeek unveil our newest shirt - The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Inventions. A long title? Sure. A pertinent reminder? Absolutely. Aldous Huxley, if he read blogs and didn’t die in 1963, would be so proud.

Prices start at $19.99 and are available from the Militant Geek TShirt Shop. And remember, from now till the end of the month there is free standard shipping to US and Canada with the coupon code FREESHIPPING07.

Think Pretentious Apple Parody T-Shirts in the Militant Geek Tee Shop - Starting at $19.99

Oh my, oh my. The Apple Insider (by way of Gizmodo) did some cost analysis of the iPhone’s actual cost. What they discovered is that the piece of pretentious plastic comes with a 50% markup. And considering that they are requiring users to sign a two year agreement with AT&T, something which is almost certainly netting them a kickback, we have a full on iGravyTrain.

Perhaps that part of the reason that Microsoft’s Steve Ballmer went on CNBC and scoffed at the new device. While he greatly disappointed us by not tossing chairs he did lay out some very sane rationale why the iPhone doesn’t scare the Microsoft mobile group:

• The iPhone has no keyboard so it’s not a good fit for power users doing email
• It’s way too expensive for the casual user
• All that’s left are people with too much money and no responsibility (Paris? Is Paris in the house?)

Could the iPhone be Apple’s very own PS3 technology blunder in the making? And how soon do we start seeing which ‘celebrities’ are product shills? The speculation is on.

It’s incredible: Paris Hilton blows at playing a dumb blond. Despite being on less than a quarter of the sketch she almost sinks what should be a sure-fire geek hit. Oh well. Learn Computers! The video:

Hat tip: GeekSugar