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Microsoft’s Clippy was a rebel. In an age of usability design that stressed minimizing user trepidation by maximizing user control Clippy broke all the rules. He would pop up unexpectantly, break work flows, nag with unnecessary questions, confuse with undesired options, and produce the kind of productivity terrorism now reserved for YouTube. He was a scamp!

With the new Office 2007 ribbon interface, however, there was little room for Clippy’s antics. At militant geek we have this look back at one of the worst attempts at humanizing software since Microsoft’s Bob:

via Gizmodo

Just in time for Valentine’s Day comes sage advice from the inebriated face plates of Diggnation. In their most recent installment, approximately 18:58 in, Alex Albrecht and Keven Rose reveal the secret on the minds of many-a-man this month: what a woman wants:

AA: Women want to know that you can protect them in a zombie attack. I just found that out.
KR: Who told you this sh*t?
AA: My GIRLFRIEND… Her roomate. (*addresses camera) Guys, if you’re out there, which I’m sure you are since this is like, a 90% guy watching show, if you want to get onto a date, if you wanna get on a date, and then you want to get onto her, what you do (*cracks up laughing)… well I said get onto a date and then realized that was weird. All you have to do is tell them that you know how to shoot shotguns-
KR: No
AA: No, no, no
KR (resigned): Keep going
AA: You are fluent in zombies. Right?
KR: (*giggles)
AA: Maybe you know some voodoo?
KR: Dude, who the f*ck are you dating?
AA: Ah… Normal women, hello? But I’m telling you, if you can help a woman survive a zombie attack they will totally date you.

It should be pointed out that both men are single. Alex *is* in a steady relationship, albeit with a woman who must believe George A. Romero makes documentaries. Kevin Rose, later in the same episode, offers to have sexual relations with a Nokia phone mockup.

Earlier here on MilitantGeek we talked about how Vista unleashed upon the unsuspecting world an entirely new way to hack a machine. They should have known. Clear back in July 2006 Microsoft’s voice recognition was a source of extreme embarrassment. In a rather large press display Vista demonstrates that you can talk all you want but Vista takes orders from no one.

Don’t think the clip is funny? I blame the ambient noise.

This being February with all its cupids and hearts and last second guilty consumption we thought it would be appropriate to bring you a geek themed love story. And this morning the ‘heroes’ of our esteemed space agency, NASA, came though in ‘Sid-and-Nancy’ style.

U.S. Navy Captain Lisa Nowak is a married flight engineer with three kids. She flew the Space Shuttle Discovery in 2006. And she burned with a passion for a fellow astronaut, Bill Oefelein, that not even an unruptured underbelly of thermal tile could deny. She made the drive from Houstin to Orlando to confront a rival love interest. Like any true geek, there was technical innovation involved. From the MonstersAndCritics story:

Police allege Nowak drove 950 miles from Houston to Orlando — wearing adult diapers so she would not have to stop to urinate — and disguised herself in a dark wig, glasses and trench coat to confront her rival, Colleen Shipman, who according to media reports is a captain in the U.S. Air Force.
…
In her statement to police, Nowak said she did not intend to physically harm Shipman but ‘only wanted to scare Ms. Shipman into talking with her.’

On her person was pepper spray, a steel mallet, bb gun, folding knife with 4-inch blade, rubber tubing, and trash bags. That was either going to be some discussion or they were going to recreate the hacking heroics of Apollo 13.

Remember, when you smell adult diapers you’re smelling the scent of love in the air.

If you haven’t heard there’s something of a game today. Of course, if your surfing the Internet right now instead of enjoying a beer and chicken wing stupor you probably don’t much care. Let’s get a new week of tech mediocrity kicked off with the play by play of what came before:

• Vista launches…
• …and most don’t care…
• …Especially Romania, who’s President, Traian Basescu, told Bill Gates that pirated software was responsible for his country’s vibrant technology industry. And you thought that Bill Gates ran off the set of the Daily show fast…
• But don’t be fooled. Vista is revolutionary. With Vista’s voice recognition technology Microsoft has created an entirely new way of being hacked. You no longer need to know arcane bits of code to destroy a computer - with Vista you only have to talk to it.
• Apple’s iTunes (now illegal in Norway due to its own monopolistic behavior) currently doesn’t work on Vista. Apple’s advice? Just keep the OS purchase on hold and we’ll get back to you. It’s not like they knew that Vista was coming out this past week… or that they had six years to do something about it.
• It was revealed that Verizon had first crack at the Apple iPhone two years ago and they passed .
• John Jantsch from Duct Tape Marketing tries to get senior execs at LinkedIn, the professional equivalent of a pyramid scheme, to explain what it’s good for.
  

  They responded by telling me they were pretty busy but my chances of getting to participate would improve if I used their system to get referred to one of their executives.

• Technorati launches a Digg clone named WTF. Even Technorati observers are asking the same thing. The sound heard immediately after the stunned confusion is Technorati further sliding into obsolescence.
• Sweden launches embassy in Second Life. Attracting those who participate in Furry S&M is apparently a priority for their tourism industry.
• On NewTeeVee there’s a piece about Amanda Congdon, a person that everybody thought was a big fish; turns out she was big only because she came from the teeny tiny pond. As the piece by Steve Bryant says:
  

  If you’re looking for a reason why Congdon’s reporting has taken a turn for the retarded lately, scuttlebutt has it that she’s still shellshocked from her move to L.A.

  Shocker #1: Congdon’s reporting? Shocker #2: a turn for the worse? The former host of Rocketboom has always been painfully forced, at best. People keep saying she’s a brilliant, articulate person foiling the image of the vapid ‘pretty face behind a desk’. But dumb humor + smart blonde = dumb blonde.

We love Valleywag, the irrepressible rapscallion of Silicon Valley skewering, as much as one-blog-crush-to-another can. It’s just one of a many fine Gawker media sites that Militant Geek reads often. That’s why we sat up and took notice when Greg Sandoval and Stephen Shankland from CNET pointed out an interesting trend between copyrighted material posted on YouTube and the quick Gawker advertisements embedded into them. The clips in question seemed to originate almost entirely from one person: Belowtheradar.

Since October 23, of the 60 videos posted by Belowtheradar, 51 feature ads for Gawker or a Gawker Media property and appear to be material obtained from major broadcasters. Nine others either are without any advertising or it is unclear where the content came from.

Sure this could have been any fan taking the time to splice logos of his favorite blogs into existing screen captures… *cough. But its also a sneaky coincidence that those same videos showed up embedded in Gawker media posts. Latest word is that the copyright owners (Viacom, Apple, and *bleh Amanda Congdon) are rather upset that they’re copyrighted material wasn’t even given a proper derivative work treatment.

There isn’t a smoking gun… yet. And this seems like a clever, albeit dubious, way of growing readership. But there is another angle. This is also seems like a cheap way to heave a legal headache up on almost anyone running a site. Just craft a semi-professional looking boilerplate, grab someone’s viral video, create a new YouTube account, and upload away. Congratulations! You’ve framed your foe for copyright violation!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to wrap Amanda Congdon promos around classic 70’s “polluting the environment” PSAs.

update:
Nick Denton, the chiefest of Gawkers pu-bas, responds below, which redirects to his site.

update 2:
It’s Gawker Media, not Gwaker as I repeatedly had mentioned. The references have been corrected. As my signifigant other was quick to remind me: I am so Smooooooooooooooth.

Microsoft circa 1978: That HAIR! The BEARDS! The flannel! Of course there is that natty young man with the feathered locks in the lower left; he could be going places…

More embarrassing honest pictures on Valleywag.

Kevin Rose and Alex Albrecht are geek stars. Whether it was their first work on the ill fated TechTV, Kevin’s founding of the social news site Digg, or their weekly technology netcast, Diggnation they continue to cement their place in Geeks celebrity pantheon with their frequent and lucid rants discussions. If you replace the sometimes obscenity laden podcast with a family friendly alternative its almost as if they were reciting Shakespeare. For example, take this passage from Diggnation Episode 82, approximately 12:40 in:

KR: Netflix has never faulted me.
AA: (snickers)
KR: They always been good to me. They’ve always been sweet.
AA: Ya, but where is your Netflix Internet Download?
KR: (pauses) It’s not there for the Mac yet.
AA: (shocked) It’s not even there for the Mac?!
KR: No
AA: OH MY GOD!
KR: Ya, so now Netflix is starting to fault me too.
AA: Netflix just FAULTED you.
KR: I know.
AA: You’re getting it from all ends Kevin!
KR: I know.
AA: You’re getting faulted in every orifice you got!
KR: All right, lets stop using the f word - there’s little kids.
AA: Oh.
KR: So if you’re a little kid and you just heard us do all that then -
AA: Fault means Teddy Bear.
(both break into incomprehensible giggles)
AA: That’s awesome.

Tech discourse at its finest. If only Brian Williams and Tim Russert had this kind of witty banter network evening news wouldn’t be in the danger that its in.