If Only Woot Did All Gadget Descriptions
I’ve really been enjoying Woot.com (less, I know - like college I am once again late to the party). It’s not so much for the extreme deals or the euphoria of buying only marginally needed tech gee-gaws, however. What tickles the funny bone are the product descriptions. An example, you say? How about this recent entry for a USB router:
So your [parent of similar gender] has been [action verb]ing your [beloved object with cross-generational appeal]. At the same time, your [parent of opposite gender] has been greatly [verb]ed with your [secondarily beloved object usually of interest only to the younger generation]. This has you so upset that you could just [body noise]. Well, we here at [company name] are more than happy to help you out with that by offering the Zyxel M-202 USB 2.0 Mimo Wireless Network Adapter. Sure, the 802.11b/g standard compliant WiFI may not make you [normal human emotional reaction], but it will certainly [surprising counterpoint], and this is without even mentioning the WPA2 and WPA security protocols or the AES and WPA-PSK encryption built right in. After you own one of these [endearing name used in the plural], there won’t be much reason for [previously mentioned parents now combined] to [amusing action verb] so that they can [amusing action verb] your [television or movie reference dating from between 1974 and 1995] instead of [expression of joy] that [vegetable]. How can you live without it?
It’s like they peeled off the suit, boiled away the greasy hair gel, and laid a tech marketer bare in one effortless description. It’s entertainment of the highest degree…oh, and the deals are pretty good too.
