Militant Geek Custom Shirts

Are you a Wisest Wizard player? Disappointed at the lack of geek-themed apparel out there proper for you to puke on? Upset that the most exciting news having to do with the original Star Trek cast was that Sulu married a dude? Friend, have I got a tee for you!

Its from the fine folks at Go Ape and is titled ‘Bar Trekkin’. A number of tee sites covered this when it first came out (I saw it on Andy’s Hide Your Arms blog). Originally I didn’t think too much of it (disclosure: I’m much more of an apocalyptic rather than Utopian future sort of guy). However, the more I see it the more I like the thought process behind it. And Sulu is grabbing Spock’s boobie. Yours for $18.

Ever wonder what working at a t-shirt shop is like? Well wonder no more! Cottonable recently posted a behind the scenes look at Linty Fresh, an up-and-coming (who isn’t?) tee manufacturer. Think mass producing cotton staples is the drunken bacchanal of your most fevered, teenage inflicted dreams? Well, maybe not quite. However, it still is kinda cool.

Pete and Olly were nice enough to write and let me know about their new clothing company called SuperCombo. Their words, not mine:

Supercombo is the brainchild of two like minded geeks who both enjoy illustration. We sell unique, high quality clothing inspired by our love of videogames, anime and general nerdyness.

And so they are. Particularly clever is “One Night Only“. What appears, at first glance, as just another wholesome boxing promotion poster transforms into a walk down pixelated memory lane upon further review. They are from ‘across the pond’ and the shirt costs £14.99.

There I was: I had just stopped by my local marketplace of ill repute for some cognac and condoms when I happened upon the latest rhythm game, Guitar Hero World Tour. “Ah!” I exclaimed. “Finally! An outlet for the oppressive amounts of free time I imagine during fevered late night coding binges!” And that’s when I noticed… the tees.

Explain to me exactly who the target audience for Guitar Hero official t-shirts are? Mother’s trying to buy their child’s affection with non-threatening, packaged, and sanitized rebellion? Those who look into their wallets after plunking down $189 for plastic masturbation trainers only to find an additional $20 burning a hole? Teenagers intimidated by buying a 1st generation rock star knock off at Hot-Topic?

You wanna “Unleash your inner rock star”? Trash your parents house, move into unheated squalor, catch an STD, drink rubbing alcohol until you “find your muse”, pray constantly you’ll catch a break, go big, fade away, and then appear on Dancing with the Stars. That is what rock stardom is all about. If rock stardom could be bought we’d all have some. And it would be hella lot cooler than a t-shirt.

Guitar Hero - great game. Guitar Hero T-Shirts? Meh.

I will say it now: Marty McFly will never die. On ebay a user named bendianamj sold a jacket they made to look like the one in Back To The Future II for $399 (props to Geekoloogie for the tip). If that gets your retro blood-a-boiling bendianamj also has several ‘Thriller’ replica jackets in their store at the time of this writing.

Of course the sale begs the question - if a crafty eBay seller can get $400 for a tenuous piece of odd looking pop culture recreation, what would something really stylish, like a Sean Connery Zardoz outfit fetch?

Why does Dan Trachtenberg, of the Interweb’s Totally Rad Show, always seem like the odd man out? Is it because he lacks the gregarious nature of Alex Albrecht? The physical stature of Jeff Cannata? Is his savvy analysis undone by a wall flower persona?

Perhaps, but at least he makes that wall look good. Here he is, seen in episode 83 (”Extra Credit”) sporting the recently featured Evolution of the AT-AT shirt while Alex and Jeff commiserate. Don’t feel bad for Dan, though. That gleam in his eye? He’s just plotting what orchestral score to play while he kills both of them in their sleep.

Quick! Everyone! Stop what you’re reading and click over to ChaCha’s tee store for their unbelievable 25% off sale!!!!

Still here? Good. We’ve gotten rid of the easily influenced. Or financially stupid. Apparently there must be a lot of those people for a storefront like ChaCha to even exist. But I get ahead of myself. The facts are these:

• ChaCha is admittedly a kinda neat text service. You text a question to 242242 and you get an answer back. Simple. Straightforward. Free. Useful.
• They raised $16 million in funding.
• Did they find a business model? Did they invest in new functionality? No, they opened a t-shirt shop.

For some reason companies with cash to burn think this is some kind of statement that can attract talent: “Hey everybody, look how young and hip we are! Forget stock options! We literally are the clothes on your back!” But the thing is, unless the designs have resonance with the society at large who in their right minds pays money to shill for a company with a silly name? And given that the creative well seemed to dry up after plastering the logo on… well, even the employees would be hard pressed to wear these outside of work.

At least LinkedIn had the good sense to use existing employees in their orgy of corporate non-hubris. It appears 16 million will also buy you some “hip” and “youthful” modeling as seen below. The entire thing smacks of so much self-obsessed popularity posturing I can smell the desperation to be accepted. Of course, this being the Internet, I suppose ChaCha’s apparel fits in just fine..

It’s hard to get away from Star Wars shirts in the realm of geek-t-dom. It is a cultural force so massive, so persuasive, that only a Death Star of meme genocide could conceivably take it out.

Of course, when you get designs like this “Dark Side” featured on Loiter why would one complain? Well, maybe there is one thing… The only problem I see is who exactly is Darth Vader to pimp? Sure, he’s a gangster like no other but have you ever seen a female storm trooper? Hell, Jabba’s got more claim to 40-dropping thug. Perhaps its better to leave those kind of cosmic quandaries to the academics and not think about this tee too much. Price for a men’s shirt is around $17 (give or take depending on options).

I continue to be surprised by Red Bubble. Even when their featured designs don’t fit the geek mold they still are interesting to look at. While paging through what was on tap I ran across this lovely Bug Spray t-shirt. Created by user CrazyDays it serves as a nice tip of the hat (or spray of the can) to classic video gaming gone by.

Bug Spray from Red Bubble for $27.93.

The latest episode of the Totally Rad Show, number 81, finds host Dan Trachtenberg decked out in Dutch Southern finery. You may remember this tee shop as it was previously featured on MilitantGeek for their excellent Fantastic Forefathers shirt. Considering the wonderful matching of Road Warrior, Escape from New York, and Planet of the Apes, who needs Obama?

It’s available for $18 (men’s large).