Militant Geek Custom Shirts

Ask any typographer what the biggest bane of the web is and it is only a matter of seconds before they reply ‘Comic Sans’. Of the handful of fonts the web founding fathers chose to include why one that was fit only to adorn Charlie Brown reprints was chosen is beyond me.

Bad Designer Threads understands my pain. They’ve created this wonderful Tee to proclaim to the world just what punishment should befall those ignorant enough to use this travesty of typographic display. Discovered through Pop Culture Tees. It’s yours for $20.

Image by Aram Bartholl

So this shirt, listing quite possibly ever Internet time sink and hyperbole generator (also known as a ’social network’) escaped our judgment when it made the rounds last October/November. Lucky for us, the shirt creator hasn’t been sued for trademark violation by any of the kajillion sites listed. That means we can still link to the spreadshirt store selling it.

Prices range from the very affordable $12.90 for a Men’s lightweight tee up to $21.90 for a long sleeve variant. The image suggests taking a permanent marker and highlighting which sites you belong to (because you can’t have enough artifice when it comes to friendship, apparently). Perhaps a better idea, however, is scratching off sites one by one as their lack of business models reel them into the financial abyss - thus leaving you with an almost all back tee. That is good. Web 2.0 is a fad, kids. Emo is forever.

From Make as read by Neatorama and seen by GeekSugar who told Geekologie who was eavesdropped on by TechDigest who spun it to Gizmodo resulting in word pregnancy by Shaktronics.

By way of Mahalo.com’s Veronica Belmont comes these adorably cute yet masculinely geek-themed pillows. They come from Artlebedev.com. A bundled pack of all six costs $24.82. I was a bit disappointed that each individual smiley is only a little more than 5 inches in diameter. However, they still would be the perfect size for decorating a cubical, sprucing up a home office, or flinging at the coworker who fails to realize you don’t appreciate him literally LOL’ing.

The idea is pretty straightforward: take a shirt, leave some blank space, and let users customize as they see fit. This shirt is from MacMerc.com who has one of the most honest (or sad, depending on your point of view) product descriptions:

Note: MacMerc.com is not associated with Twitter.com and makes this shirt available as a form of pop culture satire, not as official Twitter merchandise. Please don’t sue us.

Wearers can write in their twitter username (enabled by a snazzy tshirt technology referred to as ‘writeable flex printing’) so people add the attention-hungry user the next time they’re on twitter - the Web 2.0 equivalent of the bathroom wall? Price is $18.90. Other writable shirts featured on MilitantGeek include ThinkGeek’s Read/Write/ReWrite shirt.

When I see “Top XX” lists trotted out I know its December. That’s because media outlets have to fill the holiday vacuum of real news with something. Usually these lists, especially with Tshirts, are nothing more than slightly warmed up rehashes of past archives or summaries of a five minute Google search.

That’s why the Switched site’s “Top 11 Geek T-Shirts” list was so refreshing. First off, it’s good. Secondly, they obviously took their time and did more than just scan the best sellers at ThinkGeek. Finally, they alerted me to this gem - “Don’t drink the Kool-Aid” for $20 from Mule Design.

Granted, I don’t harbor the seething hatred that Ted from Uncov has towards Web 2.0 startups. However, when there’s enough silliness going on to warrant a geek viral video it’s time to check the enthusiasm brakes.

It was with much fanfare that LinkedIn launched its very own store. On the corporate blog is the breathless proclamation “Start Your Holiday Shopping Now!”. For a moment lets set aside the fact that most people don’t wait for their 3rd or 4th favorite social network to tell them when to shop. This is LinkedIn, the network that you join when you haven’t yet worked up the cajones to really look for a new job. Buying a shirt from LinkedIn doesn’t carry the gravitas of the One Campaign, the geek cred of Mozilla, or the awesomeness of the MySpace/Zazzle band schwag announcement. It’s as if LinkedIn woke up one morning and thought it could win back some cool points lost to other social networks like Facebook or Bebo by opening a frickin’ T-Shirt shop. What’s next in the misguided attempts for Web 2.0 credibility - the LinkedIn Segway?

The takeaway is as follows: if your core membership is unemployed or soon-to-be unemployed corporate, tie-wearing management, don’t try selling them tees. Or if you do, at least have something more creative than something that screams “I have found nothing else to fill the vast void in my life than to shill for a boring, business website”. It’s just too sad.

From TechCrunch comes breaking word that WallStrip, the hit or miss video blog about ’stock culture’, has been acquired by CBS News for $5 million. First, the good. Unlike most vlogs, Wallstrip manages to be entertaining more often than not. Lindsay Campbell is a great talent that a person can actually like (unlike other ‘web personalities’). And some bits are truly clever (and get cable business news notables to make a guest appearance):

Now the bad. According to TechCrunch the Vlog, for all its charms, has nearly no revenue. Sure, Lindsay would make a fine addition for any media organization that gets her. But given the woeful state of Wallstrip’s finances is she really going to add $5 million worth of value to CBS’s bottom line? It’s doubtful. A more likely reason is that vloggers are big media’s new shiny object. When their winds of fancy change I hope that likable pioneers like the folks at Wallstrip aren’t left up a creek without a paddle.

Paris Hilton isn’t normally the stuff of Geek discussion. Her pending jailtime for violating probation (TWICE!) after driving under the influence is gratifying, but not tech. But when the vapid waif uses her MySpace.com page to start a viral petition THEN we take notice. (Of course, there’s more than just one. For more check out Defamer’s roundup of confused digital outpouring for the admitted drunk-driver.)

The screed on iPetitions.com begins:

To:
The Honorable Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger

Paris Whitney Hilton is an American celebrity and socialite. She is an heiress to a share of the Hilton Hotel fortune, as well as to the real estate fortune of her father Richard Hilton. She provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives.

Hilton is notable for her leading roles on the FOX reality series The Simple Life and in the remake of the Vincent Price horror classic “House of Wax”. In addition to her work as an actress, she has achieved some recognition as a model, celebrity spokesperson, singer, and writer.

As most of America now knows, Ms. Hilton was just charged in a Los Angeles court with DUI and sentenced to 45 days in Century Regional Detention Facility in California beginning on or before June 5, 2007.

We, the American public who support Paris, are shocked, dismayed and appalled by how Paris has been the person to be used as an example that Drunk Driving is wrong. We do not support drunk driving or DUI charges. Paris should have been sober. But she shouldn’t go to jail, either.

Isn’t technology wonderful? Instead of solving the world’s problems or creating communities for change the youth are banding together to save a pampered talentless ’starlet’. Disgusted yet? Well, another little feature of the modern technology is the ability to disseminate information quickly - LIKE THIS PICTURE OF PARIS HILTON DRIVING HER $200K BENTLEY YESTERDAY DESPITE STILL HAVING A SUSPENDED LICENSE. The photo should do wonders for her appeal.

Photo first found via FadedYouth and the travails behind it detailed on Metro.co.uk. I think I just had a -2 roll to ‘faith in humanity’ check.

Jason Calacanis is a pretty outspoken guy; something that leads him to say some incredibly dumb things. Perhaps that’s why he’s adopted an ‘email only’ interview policy. Email gives him a chance to see the questions first, quietly reflect, carefully balance prevailing opinions, and then say his dumb stuff anyway.

The policy, however, seems egregious to the Wired staff. In a post by Dylan Tweney he refers to the fat blogger as ‘cowardly’. He then rambles on in what’s supposed to be a hilarious recap of Wired’s technical (or lack thereof) prowess.

*sigh. Email was so 1999. If they really wanted to do a cutting edge interview they would log into second life, dress their avatars as furries, and head over to the IBM island. I hear its pretty empty. That way Calacanis could have all the privacy he wanted… to continue to say something dumb.

Amanda Congdon, everyone’s favorite vlogger of questionable humor, got in trouble earlier this year for confusing professional unbiasedness with personal gain. After the debate you’d think that Amanda would at least allow some time for tempers to cool off. Of course, this is Congdon we’re talking about. Rather than letting a minor fracas become buried beneath the dandruff of headier pursuits she pours gasoline on the fire. We’ve suggested that Amanda suffered from some kind of vanity complex in the past. Given that the video has two versions of Amanda discussing Amanda’s affairs I think we’ve got confirmation.

And she’s not done endorsing products either. Last November a luke warm reception awaited the Beatles Love album, a collection of half hearted remixes meant to continue Sir Paul’s post-matrimony warchest. As industry veteran Bob Lefsetz’s review stated:

I think it’s sacrilegious. Leave well enough, leave SUPERIOR, alone. What’s next, recutting “On The Waterfront”? “Gone With The Wind”? Do we really need classic tracks remixed?

“Strawberry Fields Forever” has got none of the bizarre magic of the original. “Octopus’ Garden”? The shittiest track on “Abbey Road”. Couldn’t they have used “Act Naturally” if they needed a Ringo cut? Well, no, then they’d have to pay royalties to someone ELSE, since it’s a cover and the writer isn’t in the band.

I’m thinking nothing’s sacred. It’s only about dough. And didn’t George Martin go on record he retired because he couldn’t hear anymore?

Which brings us to yesterday’s ‘news’ from Amanda’s ABC show. She’s wearing a T-Shirt for the reviled album which, taken by itself, just further demonstrates her impeccable taste. However, on the exact same day another geek favorite, Cali Lewis happens to wear a Beatles shirt on her show?

Could it be that two of the most popular objects of geek affection happened to wear Beatles promotional items on the same day? With the album out months ago and the Beatles having yet to announce when they’ll be on iTunes the timing of such a subversive campaign seems odd. However, given Amanda’s past we won’t put it past her if there were favors traded at some point.

Ah Amanda, perhaps only your self-absorbed self may know the true answer.