Militant Geek Custom Shirts

When it comes to geek finery sometimes I think I get too focused on only technical or sci-fi oddities. In reality, the land of geekdom is full of social misanthropes and quirky neurosis to fill a hundred of Mariah’s closets.

Take, for example, ‘Deflated Defenses’ from Glennz Tees. They obviously saw the huge renaissance fair contingent, weighed it against the legion of bouncy castle practitioners, and came up with an epic mashup to appeal to thousands (if not millions) who belong to both camps. Or maybe it just made them laugh. For $19.95.

Dexterity This shirt has me torn. At first glance its a clever, albeit juvenile, tie in with a pop culture phenom that has been making a subtle comeback. On the other hand, it gives me great pause when I recall the words of Uncle Mort describing the “great pleasure” he derived from the “hours and hours” spent on the cube. Its that kind of ‘is-it-or-is-it-not-a-double-entendre that makes family reunions such hell. Don this tee at your own risk.

Rubix Cube shirt from Wicked Cool Stuff for $17.99. Tip ‘o the hat to Fashionably Geek for the find.

Boing Boing has such amazing timing. Just the other day I had sat down to watch my soaps when the thought occurred to me: “Gee, wouldn’t it be nice if I had a keyboard affixed to my crotch“. I mean, geez, I get anxiety attacks just contemplating that an input device might be an entire arms-reach away.

Seriously though, this is the kind of apparel idea that only a clueless technosexual could love. And while a pair of speakers built into the knees is begrudgingly cool the placement of the ‘Enter’ key is disgustingly suggestive. Final verdict: fail.

So why would I be covering ties on a tshirt review site? Well, as hard as it might be to believe, a well coiffed geek can’t wear tees all the time. And while we can’t always wear our favorite apparel there’s no reason we can’t geek up even the most formal attire.

First up is Computer Gear’s Engineering Graph Silk Tie (found via Fashionably Geek). It’ll cost $30 for the luxury of graphing an exponential equation on what is otherwise only useful as a napkin substitute.

Second up, in time for its 30th anniversary, is the ‘Space Intruders’ tie from Amazon.com (I’m guessing its ‘Space Intruders’ instead of ‘Space Invaders’ because of some kind of licensing [or lack thereof] nonsense). To get this game on your wallet will suffer a $24.95 setback.

What you see here is either a promo still from “You’ve Been Served 3: We’re Really Phoning It In Now” or a killer tshirt from Go Ape Shirts. As you can see when it comes to irrational flopping about on a cardboard stage the primates still pwn bee-atches. No comment on what happens when both contestants are asked to do the robot.

This design is available from Go Ape Shirts for $18. First seen on Fashionably Geek.

And now a little tshirt homage ditty sung in the key of parody (or the Dr. Pepper jingle for all you advertising-wise whipper-snappers):

I watch Dr. Who-ooo and I’m proud
I used to feel alone in a crowd
Now if you look around these days
There seems to be a Dr. Who-ooo craze!

Oh I’m a Dalek
He’s a Dalek
She’s a Dalek
We’re a Dalek
Wouldn’t you like to be a Dalek too!

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Valentine’s Day is coming and love is in the geekified air in the offices of Militant Geek! Monday through Thursday I’ll be bringing you the best Geek wearables that say “I love you… and your brain.”

And so our special Valentine’s Geek Apparel Week comes to an end, but not before peaking with the ultimate in geek love adornment: a binary wedding band. How does it work? From the description by the greenKarat store:

On the Binary rings, there are 5 parallel tracks running around the ring, each track representing a digit in the binary lexicon. The track is engraved for 1 and left blank for 0. In this way, the five lines of engraving which progress around the ring spell out, in combination, your personalized message…. Your message may contain up to 20 characters.

Only 20 characters eh? Possible missives to your matrimonial mi amor may include:

• We 2 play co-op 4evr
• I Can Haz Marriage?!
• UR base R Belong 2Me
• <3 U! BFF! Now STFU!

Why I don’t work for Hallmark is beyond me.

Roving the Interwebs I stumbled upon this light-up equalizer tee from ThingsYouNeverKnew.com. It seems extremely similar to the T-Qualizer shirt sold by BlueFishTShirts (seen in the video below - but, because of a site reconstruction, no longer seem available for purchase). Both shirts feature red and green sections that light up based on the frequency and loudness of ambient music. However, while the BlueFish shirt spikes upward the tee from ThingsYouNeverKnew.com spike downwards. It’s perhaps a quibble. But when you’re looking to rock the party as I do (I come with a cake and ice cream guarantee) every detail matters. The possibility of electrocuting yourself at the next rave will cost you $29.98.

Thanks to Begifty for the discovery.

Wordart: the favorite of MBA’s, the bane of designers, and its continued existance further proof that most people have no taste. The people from the “Taste’s Like Rad” Cafepress store agree. And while the design is absolutely killer for someone like myself I do pause at the $33.90 price… for a Cafepress shirt. Perhaps the designers are saving up for their own copy of Photoshop?

Via Funky Duds.

By way of Boing Boing via a Philip K. Dick fan blog comes a snazzy electroluminescent shirt. Its apparently based on ‘The Man in the High Castle’ and displays hexagrams when the sleeve is tugged. While I’m all up for snazzy sci-fi homages forget all the mumbo-jumbo: it’s motion activated glyph apparel. And I need one of these for the next rave. No sales info yet; somebody should get on that.