Militant Geek Custom Shirts

Roving the Interwebs I stumbled upon this light-up equalizer tee from ThingsYouNeverKnew.com. It seems extremely similar to the T-Qualizer shirt sold by BlueFishTShirts (seen in the video below - but, because of a site reconstruction, no longer seem available for purchase). Both shirts feature red and green sections that light up based on the frequency and loudness of ambient music. However, while the BlueFish shirt spikes upward the tee from ThingsYouNeverKnew.com spike downwards. It’s perhaps a quibble. But when you’re looking to rock the party as I do (I come with a cake and ice cream guarantee) every detail matters. The possibility of electrocuting yourself at the next rave will cost you $29.98.

Thanks to Begifty for the discovery.

Wordart: the favorite of MBA’s, the bane of designers, and its continued existance further proof that most people have no taste. The people from the “Taste’s Like Rad” Cafepress store agree. And while the design is absolutely killer for someone like myself I do pause at the $33.90 price… for a Cafepress shirt. Perhaps the designers are saving up for their own copy of Photoshop?

Via Funky Duds.

By way of Boing Boing via a Philip K. Dick fan blog comes a snazzy electroluminescent shirt. Its apparently based on ‘The Man in the High Castle’ and displays hexagrams when the sleeve is tugged. While I’m all up for snazzy sci-fi homages forget all the mumbo-jumbo: it’s motion activated glyph apparel. And I need one of these for the next rave. No sales info yet; somebody should get on that.

By way of Mahalo.com’s Veronica Belmont comes these adorably cute yet masculinely geek-themed pillows. They come from Artlebedev.com. A bundled pack of all six costs $24.82. I was a bit disappointed that each individual smiley is only a little more than 5 inches in diameter. However, they still would be the perfect size for decorating a cubical, sprucing up a home office, or flinging at the coworker who fails to realize you don’t appreciate him literally LOL’ing.

Knowing how some geeks are with relationships (approaching it as a puzzle to solve rather than something to engage in) the retired circus monkeys and I thought some head’s up was in order. As a service to MilitantGeek readers we’re providing a one month notice of impending Valentines-day-dom.

And if your significant other happens to ALSO be geek consider giving this lovely ASCII rose tshirt. But be warned - your lovely may not appreciate a dozen of these (and neither will your wallet at $23.95 a pop). Get your ASCII rose from Zazzle.com. Props to FashionablyGeek.com for the heads up.

Its a new year and so its time to highlight some new geek gear. While TShirts are the stock and trade of MilitantGeek January 1st is the perfect time mention some snazzy stuff that is more than a logo across a size L (or double XL, for you MMORPG’ers).

The first piece is a funky space invaders scarf from Office Lendorff by way of FashionablyGeek.com. It will cost you around $66. Now, before you chuck your thumbdrive in disgust realize that this isn’t just a normal scarf - the cost comes from the fact that the scarf is encoded with a quick response (QR) code. These codes can only be seen with a special camera equipped with special software. This camera can read the code - which happens to be an encrypted URL. Does it make you any warmer? No. But think of the impractical coolness you can display to your friends!

The second item are Periodic Socks from Gifts For Engineers via Remove the Labels. Now I’m not sure why anyone would buy socks that could only be worn periodically. But for $9.99 I’d try them out. After all, the next time I’m accosted with a chemistry test these just might come in handy.

I wanted so badly (ok, moderately bad; bad like a Lindsey Lohan movie bad, not a Wayans Brother movie bad) to like this shirt featured predominately on Boing Boing today. Why?

1. It’s for a good cause: proceeds from the sale of the shirt go to help the emergency medical fund for the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America (SFWA).
2. The meaning behind the phrase is obscure and tenuous which sometimes enhances the uniqueness.
3. There simply isn’t enough props given to the SFWA.
4. Cory Doctorow pimped it and no one, no one opposes the Cory without unleashing all the pent up, sexual frustration waiting at the gates of geekdom.

But, despite those things going for it I simply can’t recommend this tee. I suppose the irony here is that a shirt that features fart humor would look like ass. If you simply can’t be bothered with style over your substance you can get yours from Zazzle.com for $22.95. And, if so, here is some entertainment you might be interested in.

So the Militant Geek has a pretty decent head of hair and likes to show it off before he becomes follicly challenged. However, he does realize that other geeks may not be quite as lucky to have such a coiffed comb over keeping their brains cozy on winter excursions for caffeine and Doritos. In such cases Tooks, or ‘Hats You Can Hear’, might come in handy.

Granted, the reason people like showing off their white iPod earbuds is the sense of aesthetic superiority they feel over their plebeian, non-Jobs worshipping acquaintances. And, unfortunately, the earbuds go inside these hats - rendering their white design purity moot. So why am I even bringing these $25 mp3 player accessories up? Because, just between me and your browser history, I can tell you’re not a douche.

However, I am a little concerned about the compulsive Perez Hilton refreshes…

On MilitantGeek we not only cover a lot of TShirts - we also own a crazy ton. Unfortunately, there are only so many hours within a week that we can wear the spoils of conspicuous consumption. For all those shirts which don’t quite make the cut may I suggest a T-Shirt cannon.

As seen on BoingBoing Bre Pettis of Make’s Weekend Projects has a tutorial on how to make one. Like many geek projects worth doing, the ubiquitous PVC is involved.

As we’ve previously described here on MilitantGeek not all social misanthropes are created equal. Further evidence is present in this brilliant hierarchy of geekdom seen on Flatrock.org. Somebody get this on a shirt, pronto! (Full size image here.)