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As a self-admitted Google fanboy the Mountain View company’s ponderous response to Viacom’s allegations were a bit nerve racking. Of course, having had yet another outstanding quarter maybe the billion dollars Viacom was demanding for clips placed on YouTube didn’t seem like that big of deal. Of course I wouldn’t be happy about it but if that’s the way Larry and Sergey wanted to roll with an old media shake down I’d have to live with it.

However, a new update from Rob Hof seems to indicate that we’re going to get the courtroom smack down that we’ve been hoping for.

“Viacom’s complaint in this action challenges the careful balance established by Congress when it enacted the Digital Millennium Copyright Act,” the answer reads in part. “By seeking to make carriers and hosting providers liable for Internet communications, Viacom’s complaint threatens the way hundreds of millions of people legitimately exchange information, news, entertainment, and political and artistic expression.”

The company also demands a jury trial, and it has hired the Chicago firm Bartlit Beck Herman Palenchar & Scott, which Google characterized as ace trial lawyers, in addition the Google’s frequent counsel, Wilson Sonsini Goodrich & Rosati. Many people think a settlement is likely at some point. But given that no settlement negotiations are underway currently, according to Michael Kwun, Google’s managing counsel for litigation, Google apparently can use some good trial lawyers.

Why is a court case such a big deal? For one, this may be one of the biggest tests of the DMCA’s safe harbor provision. A precedent of this magnitude really needs to be created for the myriad of companies who’s business is dependent on that provision. Two, its good that the under employed legal industry can find work in this none litigious society that we live in….

Oh wait…

By beating earnings expectations and winning acquisitions despite having the lower bid Google is the new aristocracy. But sometimes earning billions in cash and grossly embarrassing your rivals just isn’t enough. For some at the Mountain View company, like product executive Marissa Mayer, their just deserts come in frosting form.

According to Valleywag Marissa is backing a custom cakemaker in the San Francisco area. What might the creations from someone responsible for Google’s ‘no-frills’ search page look like? We posit some possibilities:

Yummy!

All the news outlets were buzzing about how Microsoft was in the bidding to acquire DoubleClick, a banner serving company. However, before the weekend rolled around Google’s checkbook had swooped in and bought the ‘Punch the Monkey’ specialist for a whopping $3.1 billion. The steal put Microsoft in a difficult position - it’s ad network was considered sub par, it wasn’t getting traction in the marketplace, and having DoubleClick in Google’s stable provided some impressive benefits for advertisers. What is bygone behemoth to do?

Take a page from its mid-90’s competitor’s playbook and whine to the Department of Justice about monopoly violations. Because if you can’t beat ‘em, fuss about it. While Robert Scoble might have recently been named ‘King of the Shills‘ he does have a good point regarding Microsoft’s irony:

Isn’t it funny how there’s been a total turnaround at Microsoft in just six years? Instead of asking us to help poor old persecuted Microsoft out now we’re being asked to have the government look into the business of Google.

Now, you might not agree with me about either case, but I’ll be consistent at least. I was in Microsoft’s side against the government last time (they asked nicely). But I’m in Google’s side this time. Sounds a lot like Microsoft is now the company who had its ass kicked in the marketplace and is running to government regulators to get some relief.

If you only read the feed (RSS) version of militantgeek you may not have seen the little Google Reader widget that is embedded on the right hand side of the page. It keeps a list of all the stories that I tag that are geek worthy throughout the day that I may not have time to comment on at the moment. As yesterday developed it filled up with news about Viacom suing YouTube (through parent Google) for a billion dollars. From Mike Arrington’s TechCrunch coverage (who is quoting the actual lawsuit):

There is no question that YouTube and Google are continuing to take the fruit of our efforts without permission and destroying enormous value in the process. This is value that rightfully belongs to the writers, directors and talent who create it and companies like Viacom that have invested to make possible this innovation and creativity.

After a great deal of unproductive negotiation, and remedial efforts by ourselves and other copyright holders, YouTube continues in its unlawful business model. Therefore, we must turn to the courts to prevent Google and YouTube from continuing to steal value from artists and to obtain compensation for the significant damage they have caused.

ValleyWag has an interesting take: sue back. If Summer Redstone (Viacom’s voracious vulture-in-chief) wants to wave his legal stick about do so in kind. We want to see the kind of knock-down, drag-em-out sword fight to end all sword fights (in the strictly platonic sense, of course). Its about time that somebody with cahones steps forward, DMCA Safe Harbor Provision in hand, and puts an end to calling lawyers when the revenue sharing deals aren’t to one’s liking.

Your move Google. You knew this was coming a month ago and you sure as hell should have had something prepared. Are you going to fight? Or are you going to make yourself a target for every content owner with an ambulance chaser on speed dial? Your call.

Despite recent miscues like allowing Chinese censorship and paying motion picture studios hush money Google remains an Internet darling. What is the source of this goodwill? From what fount doth Google’s mead flow? Ironically enough, Google may just continue its rocket-ride to unrealistically high expectations because of what it does in the bathroom.

On the Google Code blog the latest entry touts Google’s program for motivating employees. The crux? Google reminds employees how to be #1 while they’re taking a #2. From the post:

Today we’re unveiling the public release of “Testing on the Toilet”: one of Google’s little secrets that has helped us inspire our developers to write well-tested code. We regularly write flyers about everything from dependency injection to code coverage, and then plaster the bathrooms all over Google with each episode, almost 500 stalls worldwide.

We’ve decided to share this secret weapon with the rest of the world to spread our passion to other developers, and to provide a fun and easy way to educate yourself (and the rest of your company) about these important tricks and techniques.

In other words, Google has taken one of the last bastions of personal solitude inside increasingly overbearing corporate structures and turned it into work time. What’s next? Harnessing developer’s body heat while they sleep to power the Googleplex?

Say what you will about Google - that they’ve turned evil, lost viewers trust, or gone plane crazy; at least they don’t design like Yahoo. Steve Bryant shares the ugly cluttered results (link has full color and larger size):

Steven Colbert breaks down the Google-YouTube conspiracy-fest as only he can:

Colbert on YouTube and Google

In case you’re just emerging from your cave Google has bought YouTube. Of course what takes people’s breath away is not just that Google has bought another hip company with the kids - it’s that they spent $1.65 billion to do so. Careful analysis here at the Militant Geek headquarters confirms that isn’t an amount you’re likely to find in your couch. Some perspective is needed, however. Just how much is $1.65 billion? With $1.65 billion you could buy:

1. 47 sexy new F35 joint strike fighter planes
2. an advertising slot on TechCrunch for 165,000 months (13,750 years - and you thought you were tired of Marshall Kirkpatrick now)
3. 5,085,999 iPods, a few more than what is needed for iPac’s buy your Senator an iPod campaign
4. 75,034,106 Hacktivist Ringer T-Shirts from a store I’ve heard of
5. Sponsorship for 91,666,666 poverty stricken children for a month

For the record, Google’s already existing video service, Google Video, won’t be going away ever according to Pete Cashmore. Let’s here it for needless spending on redundancy!