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There are the poor saps who toil from day to day like you and me. And then there are those like Oracle’s Larry Ellison: a reincarnated Caligula trapped in the modern age. In this ongoing series we’re going to do a public service of pointing out what a cruel, cruel place the world can be when you really are better than everyone else.

So lets say that, yet again, you’ve failed to crack the top ten of Forbe’s richest men in the world. You know that your extreme intellect is unjustly being buried beneath a bushel of plebeian ignorance. But where can you go? What can you do? If you’re Larry Ellison the solution is simple: buy a Malibu fiefdom to cater to your every whim. According to the Los Angeles Times:

By some accounts, he has shelled out as much as $200 million for more than a dozen properties, including five adjacent residential parcels on Carbon Beach, two nearby restaurants, the Casa Malibu Inn and a vacant gas station or two that he apparently intends to use for customer parking.
…
So far, Ellison, 62, has submitted plans to the city of Malibu for two new restaurants, including one expected to feature ultra-high-end Japanese cuisine. That would be in keeping with his affinity for the finer things in life and for all things Japanese.

Ah, yes. There’s nothing like local serfs toiling to make Japanese cuisine to take the sting out of only being the 11th richest person in the world. But when making sushi for the ultra-rich what other issues are there?

Mayor Ken Kearsley, who voted against the amendment, said he fears that the restaurants will cause a traffic backup on the highway. He also said Ellison should honor a development agreement between the city and the previous owner, who had promised to donate $400,000 to local schools and include a community room in his proposed beach club and spa.

They want a $400,000 from a man worth only $20 billion? For kids?! That aren’t even illegitimate Japanese heirs!!! It’s as if people think just because he’s rich he has the capacity to help them. Another gross misunderstanding by the world at large.

POOR ELLISON!

Today I’d like to introduce a new category here on Militant Geek. Most of the time the geeks that we talk about are regular folks that have been put in extraordinary circumstances - the YouTube guys, for example, seem like a couple of dorm buddies that happened to strike gold. Then there are those poor souls like Larry Ellison: a reincarnated Caligula trapped in the modern age. Curse the fates! In this ongoing series we’re going to do a public service of pointing out what a cruel, cruel place the world can be when you really are better than everyone else.

For example, if your business prowess enables an ego-whopping 454 foot yacht, dock builders should have the good sense to compensate, right? From the esteemed Valleywag:

the software mogul is building yet another new yacht; and not even Larry Ellison needs three floating pleasure palaces, particularly when one of them is as inconvenient as the Rising Sun, at 454 feet the second largest yacht in the world. “I think I made a mistake, making Rising Sun so big,” he told Forbes last year. “It is one and a half football fields long. You can’t dock that anywhere.” A fact which even Ellison’s salesmanship couldn’t obscure to potential buyers such as Lakshmi Mittal, the Indian steel magnate.

As every post in this series will we end with a rousing cry: POOR ELLISON!